Tag Archives: resolutions

I’m sick, but I’m strong.

Hey, Crazy, Chronic friends! It’s already February- I seriously have no clue how we’re already into the second month of the year, and I’m still trying to remember to write the new year when I write the date. (Granted, I might still do that in August.)

January was a good month for me. My resolution for 2019 was to be more goal oriented, and it’s been fun to start taking steps toward meeting those goals. One goal is to lose 20 pounds before I move forward with a hysterectomy this summer. I’ve had this goal for a while, but I didn’t have a plan on how to get there. I’ve developed a plan, and I’m sticking to it- and I’m so darn proud of myself.

I’m identifying food intolerances.

I have been (imperfectly) Paleo since January 1. I’m learning that my body feels better when I eliminate certain foods. Without dairy, processed sugar, and grains in my diet, my pain levels are a little more controlled. Sometimes, friends, it’s HARD to go without foods I love. Now, I know for some people, food is just sustenance, and I am trying to develop a healthier relationship with it. However, for me, I comforted myself with unhealthy food when my pain was out of control, when I felt sad, or when I felt like I deserved a treat for doing something particularly difficult. Those little comforts were adding weight (and therefore pain) to my joints. I became suddenly very aware that I wasn’t comfortable being an advocate for the chronically ill when I was consciously making decisions that would make me feel worse in the long run. Does that mean I’ll never have pizza or chocolate cake again? Heck, no. It means that I am finding new ways to treat myself that aren’t self-sabotaging.

I’m getting stronger.

If you had asked me in early December, I would have told you there’s nothing at my local gym that I could do. The treadmill hurt my knees. The recumbent bike hurt my hips. No matter what I tried to do, something hurt. You know what? That’s okay. I’m going slow- embarrassingly slow at times. But, I’m learning that my body can adjust to hard things and get stronger. When I started using the treadmill/ elliptical, my knees were swollen and painful for the first two weeks. Normally, I would have quit- because I have enough joint injuries without adding another problem area. However, I decided to see what would happen if I rested, iced, taped, and KEPT GOING. You know what happened? One day I realized my knees hadn’t hurt my entire workout. My body has challenges and limitations. It’ll never run a marathon or competitively lift weights- but it CAN get stronger. I can’t begin to explain how proud I am to have discovered that. For the first time in my adult life, I walk into the gym not embarrassed by what I can’t do but proud of how hard I’m trying.

Here’s the thing. I’ve hesitated to share this journey with my blog community for a few reasons. First, I could fall off the wagon. A month from now I might read this blog and think, “Bless that wide-eyed child. She was so naively full of hope.” If that happens, well, I’ll have this blog as proof that I CAN do hard things. I can get back on the wagon. (I CAN even make a fairly tasty grain free dinner roll! Woot! Woot!) Second, there will be readers of this blog that won’t be happy for me. I understand that. I understand how much energy is required just to LIVE with chronic illness. I know how comforting food can be when everything else is miserable. I don’t blame anyone with chronic illness for their current state. Life is HARD- and life with chronic illness seems almost impossible. You CAN do hard things- but maybe the hard things for right now involve waking up and showering. I’m proud of you for that. Wherever you are on your journey through symptom management, be proud of yourself for doing the hard things. I’m cheering for you, and I’m so glad I have this community cheering for me too.

Peace, love, and health always.

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#Goals- for 2019, that is.

Happy (almost) New Year, friends! Confession: I’m one of those people who loves New Years, because I love the symbolism of having a whole, fresh year in front of me. Unfortunately, that excitement normally abates by mid- January, and I sniffle and complain about being cold for the rest of winter. But, for now, while I’m still feeling motivated, I wanted to talk a little about goals.

How do you eat an elephant?

You’ve probably heard this before- and the answer is one bite at a time. I agree that you must tackle big goals in small increments; however, my problem is that I normally want to eat an elephant, and a hippo, and maybe a kangaroo. Don’t worry, 2019 isn’t the year of wild game hunting or eating for me. I’m realizing, though, that I have a lot of goals and few plans to be successful. I read a book recently that talked about visualizing your goals in intricate detail. The idea is that you have to know exactly what you want and imagine being successful to accomplish your goals. That’s not a problem for me. I can easily day dream about a multi-city book tour- or putting on jeans that don’t make me feel 15 pounds of potatoes in a 5 sack. I struggle with actually devising a path to get there.

That’s where you come in- because I can’t be the only one falling off the metaphorical wagon by mid-January. I’ve created a Facebook group for those with chronic illness (physical or mental) who have 2019 goals to crush. The group is for the person who wants to gain weight or lose weight, commit to eating paleo, commit to eating 3 meals a day. It’s for the person whose goal is to take their medication regularly or wean off certain medicines- or the one who wants to begin gentle yoga. It’s for any person who has a 2019 goal and wants some encouragement along the way.

If you want to join me, click here. (Yeah, that’s right. Click the word.) If you aren’t interested, that’s totally fine. Everyone doesn’t get quite as excited about New Years as I do, and that’s probably the more rational way to be. All I ask is if you join the group that you be willing to share one of your goals with the group. (It’s cool if you have secret personal goals. No judgment; I don’t expect you to share those!) I look forward to beginning this journey with some of you- and I look forward to accomplishing some Crazy, Chronic Life community goals in the coming year.

Peace, love, and health.